Wednesday, 16 March 2016

Why do I love to spend my time at home? The truth...


So, to me this post is something it appears I have needed to write for a really long time but just have not actually got around to it for one reason or another. I actually thought I had personally got past it all, but it seems to have come to my attention recently that the issue is still prominent and there still seems to be a looming issue? or question mark over why I decide to spend a fair amount of my time at home with my family. 

A year or so ago, if I had written this post then it would have been for my own reasons and to basically justify to myself the way I was feeling, and I guess to reassure myself that its ok to feel the way I do? But now, as I am writing this I feel like its a little bit of an explanation for why I love being at home with my family and to say my piece about why I get so upset by peoples comments towards where I choose to spend my time. 


Okay so.. why do I love home? I love home because its a place away from work, where I can spend time with my family and friends, chilling, chatting to my Mum about everything and anything - and I guess just having a leisurely life because it is away from Sheffield where all of my real responsibilities are. 

When I go home I tend to spend my time doing little things I never used to appreciate when I was younger, like going out for walks with my Mum and the dog, spending time in the lounge or conservatory chatting with my family as opposed to hibernating in my bedroom, going out for lunch, spending quality time with my friends, making plans such as spa day days, hair appointments, cake dates with my friends etc. A lot of the things I love to do are actually situated back home, which is another reason for why I do spend a lot of my free time there - my favourite hairdresser is there, I love spa days at the Garage spa with my friends etc. I am also very lucky because although the town itself gets on my nerves beyond belief, I absolutely love the area I am from, its so beautiful, picturesque, scenic, everything you would want to return to basically! No matter where I live I always find beautiful tranquil and calming places that I feel I need to go if I want to think about things or just chill out - in Cardiff it was the barrage to sit on the end of the pier and stare out to the open sea, and in Sheffield its the beautiful parks which I am lucky enough to live extremely close to! Therefore, to me going home is just a calming place altogether - you are never very far away from somewhere peaceful! 

I have the most incredible family too, whom I am extremely lucky to have and I am very close to them all. My Mum is my bestest friend, and being the only girl she has we speak to each other constantly because being surrounded by boys constantly cane become very tiring and lets be honest ... they don't exactly care about the things us girls talk about. Therefore, when I go home its proper girl time together, and we do things that people who live at home with their Mums do every single day - such as update each other on gossip, chat constantly, drink endless cups of tea, online shopping, go out for lunch - just everything! I am also extremely close to my Brother James - we are very close in age and have been close forever and this has never changed! I confide in him a lot and enjoy spending time with him when I'm at home.

I am pretty sure if you all follow my channel or my snapchat 'whatlaurenloves' then you will also have seen lots about my pets which are also at home in Barnard Castle - so this includes my dog, cat and guinea pigs - another reason I love to go home is because I just love my animals so much, I love walking my dog & just basically have the comfort of my animals being around, and in Sheffield I have no pets and at times it can get a little bit lonely! 

Also, my 6 best friends (Zoe, Ruth, Rachael, Poppy, Laura and Rachel) are at home who I love to spend time with and the most feasible place for us all to meet up is obviously there - so therefore another reason for coming home more often is because plans have been made with everybody which I obviously do not want to miss. Therefore, even if I have been home the weekend before because I have had annual leave from work I will also go home the following week if plans have been arranged with the girls - why should I have to miss out when its so easy to get home now?! 

So, to some up the why I love home so much part of this post - I just enjoy everything about my time at home, I now make the most of every second there and because I know I am walking away from it, it makes me enjoy it so much more and I literally make the most of everything!! Whereas living there would not make me feel like that. I go home, because I enjoy my time there and know its not permanent - I can walk away! Which leads me on to the next part....


I have gone through some seriously personal struggles with my life over the last 5 years, since starting University and things have really turned themselves around since finishing in 2014. At least I personally thought that they had anyway! I get so offended when people still make comments about me going home regularly because I feel so good right now, and I don't go home as part of an escape mechanism any more - its because I have learnt to love going home for positive reasons and to spend time with my loved ones. I feel like people make comments because they are bitter about not loving it themselves and cannot understand why I do? It deeply upsets me when really, it should be comments I do not care about. 

The reason I care is because when I was at University I was so unbelievably unhappy and would definitely go as far as saying I hated it! I spent almost every weekend running for trains just so I could escape home, away from it all and be with people who made me happy! Only my family and friends will know my unhappiness from University, so to me the people making the comments STILL are just very small minded and cannot see the bigger picture about why I have always took myself home with a smile on my face and never felt like I had to drag my heels doing it. 


At university I hated my living circumstances, did not really gel with anybody fantastically, was going through some personal issues in relationships and what not and all I ever wanted to do was be at home - It was definitely my happy place! At that time in my life, yes it was an escape route but it made me happy and I dread to think the situation I may be in right now if I stayed in Newcastle and never came home. I learnt to love being home so much and appreciate who was around me, that the love for it has stayed and I still continue to appreciate it - it is never a negative experience for me! Yes, granted sometimes when I am home for a period of time such as a week, by the end of my time I feel very ready to return to my life in Sheffield and get back to normality and routine. However, most of the time its for something fun and the novelty does not have time to wear off. 

When I was at University is when the comments started to get thrown my way about choosing to spend the majority of my time at home. It got to the point where I felt like I had to lie about why I was going home, or just disappear without telling people - because peoples offensive and opinionated comments used to get me down. To me, I was escaping from the people who made the comments - and I could not really tell them that. I never really found an ally whilst I was at University, somebody who I would be happy to stay there fore - instead I met people who were not very nice to me, had opinions about my relationships or were far too overpowering for me to want to be friends with etc, therefore I went home to where I had a supportive family and my best friends. I was happy there, and trust me when I say I was deeply unhappy in Newcastle for the full 3 years I was there. Since then, everything has changed so much - I have really come out of my shell again and have absolutely no reason in my life to feel like I have to escape. 


The fact I am so happy, and comfortable finally, means I get extremely offended when people continue to make comments about my choices to go home. Its not me escaping, or down to the fact I am unhappy - its all about being happy and comfortable going home, I just love it. In the last few weeks I have had a few weeks of annual leave from work, because when I started my job back in August - this time of year was the only time I could be slotted into the holiday book and it just so happens that all of my annual leave has come in one huge chunk of time. There has been the odd comment or two in the last few months like 'home again are you?!', 'you are never in Sheffield' etc which really gets my back up because I really am in Sheffield almost 80% of my time, but it just so happens I don't announce on facebook or social media that I am going to work - its just that when I actually announce I am at home in Durham, its because something fun is happening that I want to share. 

The comments just get to me because I feel like I have come so far, and I feel like they associate back to me being really unhappy when I am not any more and have been more than ok since moving to Cardiff and now even happier living in Sheffield. Living away from home now makes me appreciate it in so many different ways - I look forward to going home to see my loved ones and do fun things, whereas before I didn't even care if it meant I spent my days sitting in my bedroom on my laptop. In a recent confrontations somebody who is pretty much a stranger made a comment about it, and that's what got my back up and has really made me think its time to get this post written and out there! 


I have been very happy for the last 2 years of my life and very comfortable where I am currently living - therefore I do not feel that other peoples opinions should be at all relevant any more. 2016 has been amazing so far and I have had the most incredible start to a year, getting rid of anything negative and feeling very focussed on everything positive! You guys may remember towards the end of last year, there was a hell of a lot of personal posts coming up on my blog about wanting to make changes and dealing with negativity, and this was basically because I was going through so many changes at that time which were quite difficult at times. And in contrast of that, you may have noticed barely any personal posts like this now because I am so much happier!! Now all I need is just these comments to stop and then I will be all around happy!! 

Not one single element of my life is making me unhappy right now, and I do not want peoples small minded opinions of my liking to being at home make me feel at all sad. In the last few weeks I have been able to spend some amazing quality time with my loved ones and my best friends and because of that we have been able to plan so much fun stuff too, including my Mums hen doo and various other plans - WHICH YES IS AT HOME! HA! 


If any of you guys out there too are going through a little bit of a personal struggle, not necessarily about what I have described above - but something similar, then just remember that people who feel the need to make the comments they do are making the comments to bring negativity, make an issue, they are bitter or unhappy with a situation themselves to feel the need to comment on your life. At the end of the day, nobody knows your own personal struggles so they should mind their own business. We all go through things nobody knows anything about, and this needs to be respected not used as ammunition to upset somebody. 

Anyway, I hope this post did not seem too much of a rant - It was not intended to be a post like that, it was just to express my personal reasons for the decisions I make to go home. Sometimes I cannot believe how ridiculous it is, that I am having to justify writing a blog post like this, but because it is a current issue I just wanted to give you all a little insight into it. 

I hope in some way I have inspired some of you to not care what people think either, or if you are reading this and have made comments about issues like this towards myself or others, maybe you will not do it next time? Think about the bigger picture before commenting on peoples personal choices in life. 

Much Love

Lauren
x

If you want to see how beautiful my home town is then why not watch last weeks weekly vlog here, and you can see it for yourselves! 

Photographs taken at Eggleston Abbey - Barnard Castle



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4 comments

  1. I am the same! I love living away but I also love coming home! I don't think anyone is telling the truth if they say they don't miss home comforts!

    Maisie xxx
    moolifestyle.com

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm exactly the same lovely! I moved here 2 years ago and I absolutely hated it! I took every opportunity I could to abandon everything and go back home to see Mum and Dad and my friends. I get unbelievably home sick, especially when all my friends are 50+ miles away! :( I'm hoping one day it will go away but it's just so lonely when you don't feel at home isn't it!
    Jess @ www.juicyyyjesss.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's exciting! I don't understand why you're extremely offended when people continue to make comments about your choices to go home. It's your own choice. Select our term paper writing service if you want to succeed academically.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's nice to spent time at home. Thanks for sharing this interesting post! I am impressed by your writing style which is more than marvelous!

    ReplyDelete

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